It Is Elementary...

..That I do not like to have my picture taken. For this reason I have always been the person working the camera, so I won't be caught by surprise. Also my weights yo-yos and illness didn't always lend to great pictures plus I have had silver hair since my son was born 24 years ago. It was hard to be grey when all my friends were still blond. So for years I colored my hair to just about every shade of blond and light brunette that Loriel every made.

Alas, soon the hair color no longer worked, not even when done professionally and I decided to bite the bullet and be the first of my 'crowd' to let it go natural. Of course, my helpful Hubby promised to straighten up his own mess, starting that if I looked my age he would act his. Well the hair is silver but some days, HH is more trouble than my son who is 23 and Hyper Active!.

However a new picture was needed as an author's photo for the new book, CATALYST: Guardian Rising so with much apprehension I contacted a few photographers whose numbers I obtained from our local barter collective. One called me right back, Gina C Photography. It took a week from session to final edit and she was a delight to work with.

So the end result if on its way to the publisher and can also be found on my facebook page. Personally for a 49 year old who works outside most of the year I think I look awesome. And for the first time in a while, I kinda feel awesome too.

Triumph and Tragedy

Why do women feel the constant need for cutting each other down?

That is a rhetorical question which has nothing (or everything) to do with this entry. Recently I received a publisher's response from a house I had honestly forgotten I had submitted to. The fact that is was a negative isn't the story. It's what they said that is the subject of my posting.

Once I read their comments I remembered why I sent a query to them. They promised a honest assessment of their rejection. Now, I'm getting used to the "no thank you" letters from publishers. However, what I am having a problem with is what they said next.

They told me I had no story development in the 50 pages I submitted.

Wow. Low blow.

Now, I will confess the opening is probably the only part of my book even I struggled with. My awesome editor (who shall remain nameless except to say that he is my hero) had me cut a lot of the opening right away. That ended up being about eighteen pages, which I am slowly working out my frustration concerning by blogging. But now, even he admits more needed to be lost. And that's probably my fault.

As a writer, I have a hard time separating myself from what I write. I have spent a long time developing this story. These characters have been living in my head for years and I feel a duty to tell their story as honestly and deeply as I hear it internally. To know that I have to separate myself from this and look at the story from a commercial side is hard.

Which in a very round about way brings me to the opening sentence. Girls, in a nutshell, can be very cruel. It is one reason I am not an extremely verbal person. I've never run in the popular group, most people think I am stuck up when I am actually only paralyzingly shy. Girls are like sharks. They swim around in packs looking for weaknesses they can exploit.

Currently my daughter is experiencing the painful lesson that teenage girls are two faced, and it is painful to see her bewilderment at the sudden changes in those she thought her friends. Why do others have to cut down the smallest in the herd? I tell her to try and let it go, but she is just like me. She takes everything way to personal.

Thin skinned people are in for a hard time in this highly competitive culture we live in . Whether they are writers or painters or poets or twelve year old girls, we have to choose what we allow to injure us and to always remember that it can only damage our souls if we let the barb penetrate that deep.

Women are cruel, publishers are even crueler, but teenage girls are killers.

Another Month Slides Into the Dust

Well, two more days and March 2010 will be history. Let's look at what has happened around the globe this month. The Democrats ramrodded a health care reform bill through Congress even though 85% of Americans don't want it, the weather went wacky all over the country dumping record amounts in the NE, and I have still not heard from any reputable publishers about CATALYST.

The first item is one of the three areas I choose not to discuss in public. The other two are religion and the Great Pumpkin. But, if the general population has not figured out we are rapidly sliding down the hill toward becoming a Socialist nation then they deserve what they get. I highly recommend reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged to anyone with a mind still capable of making independent decisions. It will give your life a direction and affirmation.

As for the weather, Mother Nature has obviously hit menopause. I would assume we are heading toward global climate change on a magnitude not seem in humanities lifetime. Does that mean we are the cause of this change? Not completely. I think these cycles of the earth are normal. God set into motion a living system, complete with chaos theory. Free will is not confined to people.

I am working on a new book. Nothing related to science fiction or fantasy, this book is in honor of my daughter and our two horses, Bella and Penny; and all the other horses who find themselves in rescue centers. If you love horses, then join the movement for responsible breeding of horses, especially Thoroughbreds. The reckless search for the next great racehorse unfortunately leads to many wonderful not so great horses have to find homes. I will never let I horse I own or care about be sent to the kill pens.

My closest friends came for dinner Sunday to catch up and provide support for my son's godmother and her daughter. Stacey lost her husband last year to ALS, and there are still some sore spots, but it was wonderful for them to come up and enjoy some fellowship with old friends. I pray for her everyday.

My husband has to have tests done tomorrow first thing for his heart. I ask everyone to pray for his protection and that nothing extreme is wrong. Updates to follow as I get them.

Another Week Down and What Have I Accomplished?

Well, another week is about to be history and what have I done for the betterment of my family? We have large contracts at work in negotiation, I've done laundry and been to the grocery store. What have I done for my writing? Not enough!

Sure, I'm in a quandary over unscrupulous publishers but that doesn't result in forward momentum. What I really need to do is go back to my lists and start the process with another round of query letters. I knew when I started writing it would be a long and sometimes painful journey. But nothing worth having ever comes easy.

Without quite realizing what was happening I have allowed the end to overshadow the vehicle. Vivienne's story is compelling and she deserves it to be told. While I have taken a moment to step into another story, one which has existed in short story form a long time, I am never far from her attention. Book Two still waits for its ending and Book Three is always percolating.

Getting published is one thing. Being proud of what is published is quite different. I have certainly read some books and thought at the time, "well, that was a waste of paper and time". But then there are some books that stir the soul, fire the imagination and inspire one to greatness. I want to be proud, when the time comes, of the final edition when it is printed.

One of my favorite authors is Robert Heinlein. While many of his books changed and enriched my world, one which I find myself referring to over and over again is "Time Enough for Love". The concept of eternal man and genetic compatibility is most interesting to me. If they could take my brain and transfer all my knowledge into an exact, young and limber body with no lasting side effects or pain I would say "Sign me up!" Life is to be experienced.

One of my favorite saying in TEFL is found the first notebook of Lazarus Long. "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." My all time favorite saying from the same book is:

"Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a foot pad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please--this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time--and squawk for more! So learn to say No--and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you. (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.)" Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough to Love.

And that - is that!

Working from Home

Why, when you tell people you are working from home, is their first response to ask if you are playing hooky? Is it because that is what they would do? I really do work from my home. That's why I have a laptop computer. Everything I need to do my job, with the exception of my physical office can be found on or forwarded to my laptop.

Now, I do take longer breaks than I would at the office, to change out the laundry or start dinner or ferry children around. But that happens around checking my emails, updating contracts, updating my blogs, and working on getting published. In truth I work harder at home than the office, just at my own speed not anyone elses.

Today, for example, I am in a quandary. Do I agree to sell my book to a company with a questionable reputation, or to keep pushing letters and samples of the book to major publishing houses? Honestly, I think I am good enough to see the book directly without any financial output on my part. Am I that naive?

While I work on my next book I am going to be prayerful of this situation. I may also consult someone wiser than myself. But I will not let it stop my writing. Someone out there is going to get it. And I'll be ready when they do.

And when it gets published, I will throw such a party for everyone who has believed in my and this project, as to shame other parties.

With lots of good tunes and good food.

Ah Saturday!

Most people spend their Saturday hours either at full speed or at neutral. My Saturdays are usually a good mixture of both. The hours I spend at the barn can be long hours of full speed work or quiet rest. I love it either way. Still trying to get everything moved in and smoothed out and making the property our own.

They began digging the well today, which was awesome. Now if we can get electricity soon to run the pump and heat water, we will be jumping for joy. Still, the quiet out there in the mornings is pure food for my heart and soul. I enjoy my mornings with the horses. They are my mental health.

Tomorrow is another day, and I need to write and decide which publishers to submit to on the next round. But if the weather is going to be as nice as today, there is no way I will get any writing down. We have had too many rainy weekends and freezing temperatures this winter to not take advantage of a day full of sunshine.

So, if I'm writing in my head but putting nothing on paper or disk, am I not devoted to my craft? With all the stories competing for attention in my head, I could write mentally for years and never get every story down. Some are winners. Some are not winners. But I think each one through to the end they desire. Then I take the ones I think are richest and put them on real paper first.

I like writing outlines and notes on real paper. I think more clearly when I see the words before my eyes. Names become faces become people before my eyes and that gives the stories the cement they need to become books. I write straight to the computer, but always last. The paper comes first.

I love trees. I love all types of trees, and I try to buy recycled paper. Because, if I am going to indulge in my passion of writing, the least I can do is spare Mother Nature's oxygen generators a break.

And I may take a break tomorrow and write in my head while I ride on the back of my hubby's motorcycle. Because I am always writing, just not always on a visual media!

How Did it Become March Already?

I have come to the conclusion I am having problems keeping track of how fast these days are speeding by. Soon the boy will be on his way to Boot camp and the girl will be spending all her time and effort on her horses. The hubby and I will throw ourselved into the opening party season here in Atlanta and I will still be looking for Valentine Cards!

So far my publishing efforts have three publishers looking at the manuscript, one of whom I think is a scam company. A legit publish was looking at the book, but took a pass because I didn't know how many author copies I wanted to purchase. Is there some standard accepted number of copies an author should purchase? I was honest to them in my reply, but obviously they found my reply a downer.

But that was only Round One. I still have query letters out to three publishers, and have a second round ready and waiting for dispatch orders. As the old song from the
70's reminds us, "I will survive, I will Survive.