Why?

I'm frustrated. Why do I never seem to have enough hours in a day to get anything accomplished? I am not just talking about time to write. Some days it seems I don't have time to turn around. When I was younger time management never was important. I could work all day, party half the night and sleep a few hours and do it all over again. Ah, the lost talent of youth!

I'm also stretched a lot more than when I was young. I want to streamline my life, discard things from my memory banks to make room for new information. But how does one decide what stays and what goes? What if I make the wrong decisions?

I have an idea for a new story, way different from CATALYST. This week my goal is to finish sketching out the characters and make a rough outline for the story. Book Two of the Trilogy is stuck at 75% complete. Again - I know where I want to go, I'm just having an argument with my characters about how to get there. I am winning, but they have some smart ideas.

That begs the question - how many writing projects can I juggle at one time and NOT get them totally confused? The new story is far and removed from the world of CATALYST, which should help my thinking remain linear. I would not be amused if the characters began story jumping.

Still waiting to hear from several query letters I have sent out to publishers. It boggles my mind how many publishers don't even acknowledge they received anything from you. Today I got back my query letter in my SASE from a publisher. No note, no "we aren't interested", nothing that indicated these people did anything more than take my letter, open it, put in my SASE and stick it back in the mail. Certainly an easy job - wonder if they are hiring.

And then there are the publishers who think you are "fabulous" and if you will buy a thousand copies to sell yourself they will be glad to publisher me. Call me old fashioned, but I thought I was selling my book to a publisher so that they have the privilege of benefiting from my writing. Why should I pay to get into print? Personally, I think I write better than the average novice author and should be paid - not have to pay.

I need a good ride on horseback through the countryside to clear my head. Of course, we have going into another rain cycle, so I guess watching old movies I already know the ending to will have to substitute. At least for now.

Oh Spring!

Today was an almost perfect spring day in the South. Sunshine, blue skies, warm and holding the teasing promise that winter has finally headed somewhere else. Alas - it was only a tease. Starting tomorrow, the return limited run of rain. But, the temperature will not be quite as stark in its previous engagements. Yah!

I love spring. It is simply the best time of the year. The rebirth and rejuvenation Mother Nature brings with the return of warmer temperatures and longer days has always excited within me the desire to create something new and fabulous. Planting flowers, pruning the bushes, cleaning out the cob webs in my house in celebration of another winter gone.

But I also try to clean out the cob webs in my mind. Too often I find myself dwelling on things in the past which need to stay in the past. My doubts and insecurities rise up and attempt to ensnare me in their clutches. With a firm hand I can send those feelings out with the wind, refusing the comfort of the old familiar.

Spring inspires within me a new desire for writing, a renewed passion for expressing myself on paper (or computer screen if you will). I have a new book idea, totally different from CATALYST. I have Book Two of CATALYST to complete the rough draft, and I have the CATALYST blog to push forward. And the continued process to find a publisher. If I get everything accomplished, this will indeed be a Spring renewal.

So, my Spring Resolutions:
1 - Write at least two hours every day. It doesn't have to be all at one sitting, but don't push it off. Too soon I would find myself finding more reasons not to write than to actually just write.

2 - Be diligent in finding a publisher. Somewhere out there is the perfect book house to me. We just have to find each other.

3 - Follow through and follow up. These seems to be the two issues I have the most problems with.

4 - Always take the time to stop and look around at the wonders of our physical world. God's world deserves our amazement and honor.

5 - Slow down! Far too often we race through our days and run right over those who need us most, our families and friends.

Yet the number one most important thing Springs brings is Baseball!!!

Sunday - Another Week Calling for Rain

For most of the past five years we have been in a drought. Water conservation was championed twenty-four hours a day for months. Lakes were at all time lows and the drought made headlines all around the country.

Boy, what a difference a year can make!

This state has had more water in the past year than in three previous years put together and then doubled. Last September we had major floods across the wide Metro Atlanta area. The experts have said we had a 500 year flood. Who the heck plans for a 500 year flood? Far as I know, there wasn't anyone around here five hundred years ago except the Cherokee Indians and they didn't write anything down about a flood!

Rain, to me, is like writing. Some days it comes in a fine mist, covering everything but not leaving any concrete imprint. Other days, it comes in a flood, flowing faster than man can contain and control. While every writer hopes to live in a flood, far too often the floods are few and the mist is prevalent. Which is better?

I find when I have a flood of words flowing, the page count increases, but upon review the story sometimes has taken a bend I did not see coming. On those days it feels the inmates are running the asylum inside my head.

Ah, but in the mist I get so much more accomplished! That is where the polishing and refining seems to spring from. In the mist I can see the characters and their demands to be heard, but I can slow down the input, making better use of my time. A flood is always going to come. Whether it is a 500 year flood or a 10 year flood depends on how much I have cleaned out during the mist.

A writer always has to write, it is a part of our souls. But a smart writer knows the drought can be just around the corner. What happens to a writer who has lost his ability to see the stories in their head? How long can you reside in the drought waiting for a new flood to appear?

If you love writing, the droughts come. But how you respond can be a very individual thing. The important thing is to remember, no matter how long the drought lasts, no matter how low the lake level gets - a new flood is always around the corner. We just have to be patient and trust God.

THAT is the hard part!

Ah Saturday!

Most people spend their Saturday hours either at full speed or at neutral. My Saturdays are usually a good mixture of both. The hours I spend at the barn can be long hours of full speed work or quiet rest. I love it either way. Still trying to get everything moved in and smoothed out and making the property our own.

They began digging the well today, which was awesome. Now if we can get electricity soon to run the pump and heat water, we will be jumping for joy. Still, the quiet out there in the mornings is pure food for my heart and soul. I enjoy my mornings with the horses. They are my mental health.

Tomorrow is another day, and I need to write and decide which publishers to submit to on the next round. But if the weather is going to be as nice as today, there is no way I will get any writing down. We have had too many rainy weekends and freezing temperatures this winter to not take advantage of a day full of sunshine.

So, if I'm writing in my head but putting nothing on paper or disk, am I not devoted to my craft? With all the stories competing for attention in my head, I could write mentally for years and never get every story down. Some are winners. Some are not winners. But I think each one through to the end they desire. Then I take the ones I think are richest and put them on real paper first.

I like writing outlines and notes on real paper. I think more clearly when I see the words before my eyes. Names become faces become people before my eyes and that gives the stories the cement they need to become books. I write straight to the computer, but always last. The paper comes first.

I love trees. I love all types of trees, and I try to buy recycled paper. Because, if I am going to indulge in my passion of writing, the least I can do is spare Mother Nature's oxygen generators a break.

And I may take a break tomorrow and write in my head while I ride on the back of my hubby's motorcycle. Because I am always writing, just not always on a visual media!

What do you mean it's March?!?!?

Just yesterday I was watching the countdown to the New Year. Today I realized it was the end of the first week of March. What happened to January? Did I sleep through it? And February - did I blink and it disappeared? Ever since I was little people told me time flies as you get older but passing at the speed of light is ridiculous.

When I am writing, time seems to move in slow motion. There is never enough time for me to get everything accomplished I have laid out. But I push forward. If I am not writing other things get attention but I always feel "I should be writing". Is there a correct balance when you are a wife and a mother and a friend and all those other hats that women tend to heap upon themselves?

When women do things which enrich themselves and not their family, are we being selfish? I learned a lot time ago I cannot be responsible for any one's happiness except my own. However, as a corollary to that statement, if I am not happy I do not have the right to inflict my misery on others. So I write. It makes me happy, which in turn makes me a happier person for my husband and my children. So - am I selfish or am I doing my best to make a better family life?

I propose I am making my home happier. Because - if Momma ain't happy...

I'm Confused, but That's Normal

Tuesday we received 4 inches of snow. By Sunday it is supposed to be almost 70 degrees. What the frack?! I know the weather in Georgia is unpredictable but enough is enough. The hubby thinks this might have been the last round of snow, and I certainly hope so. Snow makes my real job a little more difficult for sure.

I sent out a few more queries on the book. How can someone have your query letter for less than three minutes and decide it isn't what they want? Even I can't make a decision that fast. If they aren't willing to take a jump with me, an unknown, then tell me that. Don't just hit the pre-typed turn down without even opening the attachment. Blind rejection really steams me, in case you hadn't noticed.

Oh well, going to spend some time with the horses over the next four days, that should help my blood pressure. Unconditional love and acceptance make me smile. Perhaps something wonderful will come in over the weekend. Still have at least three outstanding queries I have not heard back from. Maybe one of them will request the full book to read. Once they read it I know they will be willing to take a chance on this middle age mom from Atlanta. If the situations were reversed I'm sure I would read what they wrote. Oh yeah - most of them have written NOTHING. They just like to crush other people's dreams.

I'm not bitter at all, can't you tell?

How Did it Become March Already?

I have come to the conclusion I am having problems keeping track of how fast these days are speeding by. Soon the boy will be on his way to Boot camp and the girl will be spending all her time and effort on her horses. The hubby and I will throw ourselved into the opening party season here in Atlanta and I will still be looking for Valentine Cards!

So far my publishing efforts have three publishers looking at the manuscript, one of whom I think is a scam company. A legit publish was looking at the book, but took a pass because I didn't know how many author copies I wanted to purchase. Is there some standard accepted number of copies an author should purchase? I was honest to them in my reply, but obviously they found my reply a downer.

But that was only Round One. I still have query letters out to three publishers, and have a second round ready and waiting for dispatch orders. As the old song from the
70's reminds us, "I will survive, I will Survive.