Spring Showers Bring...Road Trips

Once the great Turnip Green disaster of 2012 was averted, I thought for sure my garden was on its way. Seedlings were popping up, squash and cucumber vines began sending out their first runners, and my pumpkins appeared to have been set into pure fertilizer. Visions of fresh vegetables danced through my head at night, and on Sunday mornings I couldn't wait to be on the road to measure the week's progress. Then - another crisis.

From Mother's Day until Father's Day, I was out of town. Not for business, not for fun, but for family issues. First, my 92 year old mother lives with my brother and his family. My sister-in-law was getting a well deserved break and would be gone for two weeks. Since my brother has odd hours (he's a doctor), my sister and I decided to split the assignment between the two of us. So for ten day I 'baby sat' my mother. It was wonderful.

I had always been a Daddy's girl,. My mother and I get along, but I'm a strange child (it says so in my baby book). Only when my dad died early did Mother and I finally come to a mutual place from which to base our adult relationship. When she could no longer drive herself around, my brother moved her into his house in South Carolina. It was the best thing (did I mention she is 92?) and we all agreed it was time, but afterward I discovered it hurt.

Spending ten days sitting with my mom, talking, working crossword puzzles, watching every game show on television, fixing her meals - it was glorious. For really the first time in my adult life we related and bonded and discussed past history which cannot be undone. When Memorial Day weekend rolled around and it was time to go home, I was so sad I didn't even listen to the radio the entire three hour drive. I wanted to just savor the moment.

Well, the next day I returned to my little slice of vegetable heaven, only to discover nothing had been done in 10 days. Okay, in gardening terms, ten days is an entire season. The weeds were taking over. I lost my carrots, my lettuce, my peppers, everything that wasn't a squash, pumpkin, cucumber or beans had simply been overwhelmed. For five hours I pulled and grunted and cursed (again) my city-slicker hubby, but as the sun began to sink over the horizon there was a semblance of order in my plot.

Then, less than a week later, my aunt died. Back out of town I go, knowing that when I returned there would be more weeds to wrangle, plus they were cutting hay that week. I prayed no one would run over the pumpkins, which by this time had already started to bloom. Returning six days later, I raced up the expressway only to discover - more zucchini and summer squash than Carter has Little Pills (obscure 60's reference - look it up!).

When I say zucchini, I mean green blimps! These monsters were at least 7 pounds a piece and as long as my arm. Nothing close to the grocery store zucchini. My first thought was: did I plant the wrong seeds? But then I looked at summer squash and they were enormous yellow pillows! You think I am kidding? One summer squash made a casserole that fed three people for four days! My hubby asked if I bought the seeds from some mutant source. They were huge and they didn't stop coming for weeks. Even my usually eager town friends were saying no thanks, we've had enough.

Harvesting everything that was ready took two extra large storage tubs from Wal Mart. After some more weeding (those turnip greens were stubborn little twits), I left knowing that upcoming weekend I would again be out of town - this time for a family wedding in Ohio!

Well, the gardening fun didn't stop there. Next time, we will discuss who knows more: my city boy husband, or me?

Summertime and the Living isn't Easy

The dog days of summer are here. Temperatures are hovering in the upper 90s, the humidity is 110% and the heat index is around 110. It's days like this make me miss living at the beach. But that poses its only set of problems. (LIST TIME!)

1 - When summer is this hot, no water is cold. Not the lake, unless you can find the lower current where the rivers are still moving under the surface. Not any pools, they all feel similar to a hot tub, all chlorine and floating dead bugs. Even the water park cannot cool the water enough to make paying the small fortune it takes to get in worth while.

2 - Watering bans in preparation for another drought are already making their presence felt in this area. That means no watering your lawn except between midnight and 5am. This makes it rather difficult to play in the sprinklers. Another favorite memory of my childhood gives way to modern reality.

3 - Even the beaches in the Southeast are not centers of cool relaxation. The water is too warm, sharks are prowling just of the coasts, we are in the middle of a jelltfish explosion not to mention the still lurking spectre of the oil spill from 2010. There might not be any oil on the beaches themselves but we all know it is just off shore, ready to leap upon our Wal-Mart bathing suits and ruin our summer vacations.

4 - The mountains are cooler, but not by much. The only respite one can gather in the upper elevations of the South is the sun goes down earlier because of the hills and the streams and rivers are ice cold but every other person in a 100 mile radius has the same idea. The congestion and exhaust fumes contribute to the name "Smokey Mountains".

SO how does the 21st century Southerner keep cool? Thank God for central air conditioning and sweet tea. As long as we have these staples of our civilization life will remain bearable until Fall can roll around with his cooler temperatures and brilliant blue skies.