I don't normally mix my personal and professional lives with my writing. First, it isn't fair to you innocent people to listen to me whine. Second, whining doesn't do any good period. However, I have to vent some of this out, before I explode.
Recent things have brought about many changes in my life, some happy some frightening. Mostly I have been on a voyage of personal discovery, looking at what I dislike about myself, strengthening my relationship with me, stuff like that. Although I find this a needed project, it's been hard both internally and externally.
There are stages to change, just as there are with death. Perhaps because change is a form of death, a good-bye to the habits we need to dismiss. I've been angry, sad, I've laughed, I've cried and mostly I've tried to bargain with the universe. Let me tell you, it really is true that if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans.
Earlier this year, I decided to adopt Proverbs 3:5 as my life verse: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding." It perfectly summed up where I was at and what I needed most to work on - getting out of God's way and letting him work on and through me.
Once I began to get out of the way, great things began to happen, and for months live moved as it should. Then in July we had another life changing event. Unfortunately that positive event has spawned other negative behaviors. (See Verse Above.) Am I mad? A little. Am I disappointed? Immensely. But sometimes the lesson to be learned isn't mine. Sometimes the lesson is someone elses' and I'm only caught up in the backwash. Doesn't make it right, doesn't make it hurt less, but it does allow me to take a deep breath, smile, and get out of God's way to let Him do His thing.
When we are younger, the need to protect or best our enemies is strong. We are raising families, building family units, establishing ourselves in the corporate dance. As we grow older, we realize we worried about the wrong things. Our kids grew up fine, even if they did drink water from the garden hose, or use sunscreen with low SPF. The world didn't stop turning, and no one was left with some horrible disease from sucking on honeysuckle blooms.
These days it is getting harder and harder to maintain inner peace. The world seems especially bent toward the destruction of all that many of us grew up to respect: our military, our way of live, our political process. I could go on for hours, but everyone knows what I mean. I am proud of our political system. I am not proud of the circus we are being fed. It feels man-made, thrown us to detract us from the real questions. And I got too old for the circus a long time ago.
There are many changes due for me this upcoming week, and if you think about it, throw some positive karma out into the universe on my behalf. Trust me, it will come back around to you increased.
One side not - I will be participating in a Halloween Blog Hop 10/24 through 10/31. More details to come.
Another note - Welcome to the Family has a release date of November 9, 2016. Be prepared to meet the Family!