Winter Whimsy

February is one of my weird months. Things either go really well or really bad. There never is any between. This year has been no exception.

The Winter Olympics are on. I must confess I was a little disappointed in the Opening Ceremonies. Perhaps I was expecting more from a technologically forward country like Korea but it was underwhelming.

My darling daughter, after twenty years in the home, is moving out. An empty nest awaits me and I must confess I am excited for the challenge.

I participated this winter in a tradition which dates back to when I attended college. That is the magic of no-shave winter. That's right, I didn't shave my legs since November. We did this in school as we were all female and it was a bonding experience in our freshman year that turned into a liberating statement for all of us.

That being said, the weather here has been approaching springtime temperatures, and I wanted to be ready for the change of season. Which meant breaking out the shaving creme and a new razor. So that chore is done and now I'm headed to the Walmart for some Drano. Oh well, at least my legs look fabulous as I go.

I've made the decision to go back to school a reality and need to go take the placement tests soon. A new direction for my life, and I'm finding myself excited for some writing I've been doing.

I'm learning anew that life is a journey, and I shouldn't be so eager to race for the finish line. There's still a lot of time left in my dash, and I need to embrace each moment instead of always searching for the next one. It is nice to learn new tricks as I grow up.

True confessions time: I found myself involved in writing fan fiction (I know, right?!) and it's awakened a new spirit of creativity that has been boundless. So far, I am like 100K words on this piece and only now see an ending. I'll never earn a dime from this, but I'm really proud of the work. I hope to carry this over into my real work writing and kick some writer's block ass on the three stories I have in various stages of development.

Clues: An Archive of Our Own. Username: LadySansasDirewolf
Check it out and let me know what you think!

Time to Change the Road You're On

As a child, in my mind, when I pictured the change from one year to another, it presented to me visually as climbing back up a steep hill from December to January. It's odd, I know, but I've always been a visual person. It also gives me a chance to reflect on where I am, where I'm going, and what is meant to be.

Last year, in my personal opinion, was probably the worst year of my life since I was in my late twenties. There is not one aspect of my life that hasn't blown apart in the last 365 days. To say that my sense of self-worth is low would be overstating low. I have none. I don't even feel strong enough to go out and pursue a new direction.

But that doesn't move me forward. or sideways, or even backwards. It just keeps me stuck. Joyce Meyer says that frustration is a sign that I am acting independently, apart from the design the Creator has for my life. So I am watching myself carefully for that sense of not belonging to my own skin. Cocooning away from irritations in my real world in order to put my internal strife into place, I find a small growing kernel of self taking shape where previously there was only dissatisfaction with my own actions.

I have resentments I have carried for years still hanging on my shoulders, old friends I cannot seem to separate from on this journey toward peace. My heart pleads 'Some day', while my head screams 'Never', and I understand regret.

I've allowed hurts, real and imagined, to take root where previously only trust and confidence grew, and I stagger through the weight of failure and I understand my weakness.

But perhaps worst of all, to protect those I love, I tried to take it all on me, and forgot that this life is a shared voyage. I became the martyr I always swore again and I understand now what breaking truly costs.

It's time to stop, drop, and roll. We only have one shot through this life, and regrets are anchors pulling my soul to inaction. I cannot stay in this morass and I cannot find my way through, so I spend hours wondering. It's no way to live. It's time to once again learn to breathe in the air of acceptance and return to who I am, stop trying to ignore the truth of what comprises me.

Once, as a teenager, my father stopped me in a hallway to tell me I was the one of his children most like himself, and that he pitied the journey that would take me on. How sad that it has taken me forty years to understand the wisdom of those words. As a teen, it filled me with pride to be compared to my father, who I idolized. It's only as I look back that I realize the curse of being who we are.

When you can see the truth of a person, how to you reconcile their actions?

So I have decided this year to search for the woman who has somehow gotten left behind in all of this upheaval. The one who knew her own mind and had dreams she wanted to chase. through addictions, and rejections, and loss and growth, the one who at the heart of it all only wants to be loved. I do not know where this road will lead, nor am I particularly afraid. At the end of things, it is only myself that I am chasing, not an unknown enemy. Who knows better than I the distractions I can throw to keep from success?

As a child I often found myself hiding in the back of closets and under the bed, trying to hid but from what I never knew. How sad it is now to figure out the person I was hiding from was myself.

I Refuse to Use the Obvious Title (Bonus Points if you know what I mean!)

The Solar Eclipse was today. For a while, life in America stood still while we watched a miracle unfold. The sun and the moon have been dancing with each other since the first day, and still we gape at the uniqueness of Nature.

I felt the energy of the world  at odds with itself these past few weeks as we approached the eclipse, and it has been an extremely uncomfortable feeling. As if life were waiting, unwilling to be held in place by the day with no night and the night with no day. It's been a strange feeling, prickly sensation across my skin.

The moment came, and the moment went, and after all the hype it was interesting and underwhelming all at the same time. But I will say this - the energy seemed to drain out of the atmosphere, and all I've wanted to do since moon and the sun swapped places is sleep. Since we heal when we sleep, I assume this is a good thing, and tomorrow will bring another day.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18)

I intend to use this new energy, this new thing, to do the best I can every day, be the best 'Me' I can be be every day, and always strive to follow the path of my life to wherever it may lead. To grow and study so that I can make the most of every opportunity.

It Is Well With My Soul

For the past few years my life has been a mess. Through a series of failures and misplaced actions, we've lost everything we had built - our business, our incomes, our retirements, my husband's health, all gone with the capricious winds of fate. But fate has a Master, just as we all do, and while I don't usually open a window into my soul, for some reason tonight I feel a calling to put where I am inside into the ether.

One hundred and forty-four years ago Horatio Spafford placed his children on a ship headed for Europe and never saw them again. The ship sank and only his wife was saved. This after another child had already died at a young age. Upon arriving in Wales after her rescue, Mrs. Spafford cabled her husband, "Saved alone. What shall I do?"

That pretty much describes where I have been these past few years. Saved, alone, doing what I thought I had to in order for all the balls to remain in the air. It's only now I can look back and see the wreckage with a clear head and an acceptance of my Lord's hand in things beyond my grasp. If not for the faith I have carried since childhood my personal ship would have sunk in rough waters a long time ago.

Faith in something greater than ones self is hard. Faith in yourself is even harder, especially after fortunes change. More than one I have joking compared my journey to that of Job, but I now know for a fact every person's experience with trials is different. Regardless of religion. belief in a greater being gives hope that tomorrow will be brighter, that not all days are worth hiding from.

I confess I have no confidence in my ability to change anything that is happening to us right now. Rugs are pulled out from under me with frightening regularity and my lack of coordination has brought about more than one face plant. But I get back up and I keep going because somewhere out there lies the answer, not within myself or within the walls of my house.

I am by nature an introvert, which makes some of these disappointments seem large and menacing, and in reality some of them are. But even though I work at a low paying, crappy hours job, it helps pay the bills. And even though all I can see in all directions is unending turmoils, I take a deep breath and being to function on the second part of that cable: "What shall I do?"

As Horatio Spafford raced to meet his distraught wife, the ship he was on passed directly over the spot where his young daughters now lay entombed. During that passage he penned the now famous Christian hymn, "It is Well With My Soul". The line which sticks in my head day after day as I listen to people gripe about things which are completely trivial is this: "Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul'".

Because at last I understand that I am where I am for a reason. Multiple reasons but the most important is because that is where my Higher Power, whose name is God, wants me to be. I fulfill a purpose, even though I have no clue what it is, and that is all I need to know right now. There are still immovable mountains ahead of us, and perhaps that is no other employment avenues have opened themselves to me. I don't know and that's okay.

Now, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I'm not angry, and sad, and about a million other variations on the four basic emotions. I'm totally angry at the way things worked out, but what hand could I have played that would have worked out better? That also doesn't mean there aren't things I wish I had done differently. Hindsight is twenty-twenty. But for the first time in almost two years I no longer feel the Sword of Damocles hanging over my neck. It probably still is, but I have faith things will work out in the end.

That, I think is the key to faith: the believe it will all work out in the end.

If you've made it thought this, thank you. I know people are not all the same about religion, but I consider faith as more than a part of religion. Faith is a basic staple of life. Food, Water, Shelter, Faith. With these four man can create anything. I believe it.

As for the Spaffords, they were reunited and went on to have three more children. In 1881 they moved from Chicago to Jerusalem, where they are buried.

Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues

Happy Mid-Summer's Day

It's the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. From this point all our days will shorten until we reach the Winter Solstice six months from now. Animals will begin growing their winter coats after today, and already the harvest is ripening. This is the best time of the year, lazy hot days that remind us of childhood and time spent staring into azure skies filled with puffy white pillows.

Who doesn't love summer, especially as a child? Days when everything was possible and our future was limited only by imagination. Time was spent chasing the wind and climbing trees, exploring the universe until the streetlights came on and the fireflies went to bed. Then you dragged yourself into the tub and scrubbed dirt from half of the county off your skin and avowed to your mother of having no idea how that hole got in the seat of your shorts.

Days watching the fields grow, the baby animals of spring become the children of summer, and for one brief moment it seems possible that August will never arrive, that you will be allowed to stay in this land of sunshine and honeysuckle. Evenings you churn fresh ice cream with berries from the vines in the back yard, and debate the day's activities with gravitas and humor. Night is only to recharge and to dream of new adventures in distant lands, usually the neighboring woods and pastures.

Summer is the season of growth for of nature, flora and fauna, the season of preparation. No matter what, this is when we must get ready, stretch and grow, tend to the harvest to come. As the days grow shorter a sense of urgency comes over us, to gather, to store, to get ready for the lean times of winter. That still applies, even in this age of devices and connections to the ether.

So get your nose out of your laptop, grab some water, your sunglasses, and some sunscreen and head outside. Grow something, can something, make jelly, or just cut the grass, but enjoy the lazy days of abundance. Before your winter coat starts growing...

Literary Love Savannah, 2018 VIP Ticket Program

Literary Love Savannah-2018-VIP tickets

50$ VIP package (only 5 available!):
• VIP Laminate
• POSTER of books by the VIP sponsor authors
• Special not on sale books from VIP sponsor authors
• Limited edition swag
• Premium promotional item
• VIP meet and greet event
• VIP Program Group photo
• First choice on seating for Lunches, dinners and events
• Special line for Registration
• Early access (15 minutes) to the signings
• Special Pricing for bundles from VIP sponsor author

75$ GOLD VIP package (Limited to 5 spots PER AUTHOR):
***EVERYTHING THE VIP PACKAGE GETS PLUS:
• Special group hangout
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100$ PLATINUM VIP package (Limited to ONE reader PER AUTHOR):
*** EVERYTHING THE VIP PACKAGE AND GOLD VIP GETS PLUS:
• Special one on one hangout with the author they chose (to be decided with the author)
• Ability to be the Authors “Assistant” for the duration of the event

REMEMBER... THESE GO LIVE MAY 3RD, AND ARE ONLY AVAILABLE FOR 1 WEEK OR UNTIL THEY SELL OUT... WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. THESE WILL BE LIVE A MONTH BEFORE THE ACTUAL TICKETS... SO GET READY AND HELP US RAISE SOME $$$$ FOR THE ANIMAL SHELTER!

Planning a trip to the Low Country in Summer of 2018? Come hang out with me a few hundred of my best friends! Regular program tickets go on sale next month, but this is a chance to get up close and personal with some of your favorite authors.

All proceeds from the VIP program benefit the animal shelter in a nearby county.

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another

Two more interviews. Two more turn downs.

I swear I'm starting to get a complex.

I know it's a tough job market, and there are literally hundreds of applicants for every position, but for crying out loud, I've been searching for eight months and the best I've got is $10 an hour and an entire trashcan of rejections. It's enough to make me question whether I have any marketable skills left after more than 35 years working in the public sector.

A wise person once said to me that all I needed to be was myself and I would never lack for opportunities. These days however I question more and more who I am and what I have to offer to any organization. Sure I'm older than most of those being interviewed, but why do I feel like age is a minus, not a plus?

But then I remember I'm on a journey, and I have no control over how long this road will be. Nothing will be mine before I learn what I must learn to progress to the next phase of my quest. The problem is, I'm not sure what is being asked of me.

A friend at work said, "God is preparing you for what is to come next." Those words frighten me to the core, because what I've been going through has broken me. I am only a fleeting wisp of the woman I used to be, and what I wouldn't give to find that person again. However, the slow path only runs in one direction and a locked door will not open again.

So I will continue paying my penance in purgatory, because that's what I need to do now. I need to win back those things which I have lost and the first of those is myself. Who am I when the lights are out and I'm alone with my thoughts? Not the person I hope to be, that's for sure. My confidence is shaken, my spirit not quite broken, but fragile nonetheless.

Perhaps I will stop looking for a while, and let the wheel of fate turn as she will. I want to be in a certain area, at a certain rate, and those jobs don't come along every day. I need to make sure I am worthy when the time comes. There are a few quirks of my life that needs smoothed away, made right before I tackle the next phase. I'm almost ready to make the leap to the next ledge.

I wait.

It's Raining...

I love Spring in Atlanta.

I know, that's a loaded statement. Let me clarify by saying I also detest the pollen we are 'blessed' with during the months of April and May. When the allergy clinic reports the pollen counts are in the 4000's and the air is tinged a vague yellow from the wafting sperm of tens of thousands of varieties of trees, shrubs, and flower, I grab the Zyrtec and another box of Kleenex and carry on. What I love is the fresh coat of green the city wears, a soul thrilling change from the drab browns of winter.

I love the warm breezes and sunshine that make you lift your face to soak in the vitamins and renewing energy missing during the short days of grey clouds and darkness. Pausing to watch in amazement as overnight the brilliant universe of colors from ancient azaleas and spreading dogwood trees burst forth, proudly displaying their Easter finery and challenging us to match their splendor.

In the suburbs the hardware stores bring out racks and tables filled with every possible starter flats, including tomatoes and pepper plants. The smell of composting mulch fills the air as the weekend farmers sally forth with their trucks and SUVs to accomplish in one sun-filled weekend all they missed during the work week.

Hanging baskets of every size swing in the breeze, reminding us of wide front porches with lazy swings and tables holding glasses of sweet tea and lemonade. Children run through the vibrant green grass looking for multicolored plastic eggs or just to feel the cool happy blades between their no longer woolen clad toes. Life is renewed and the earth welcomes plant and animal to the eternal change of season.

Yesterday I sat on the swing and watched the clouds swing by and wondered to myself whether Heaven enjoys the different flavors of our seasons or if it is eternal spring. I came to the conclusion the reason we desire the return of spring each year is to welcome the promise of something better. Summer is freedom and fall is aging, winter is waiting but spring is renewal. It is possible to bear the waiting because something better is coming.

Which is why Easter falls in the spring. The promise of something better coming is why Jesus committed himself to the cross and what millions of Christians like myself hold as the most sacred tenet of our faith. It makes the waiting and enduring of all the twists and turns of our life worth the pains and pleasures of this messy planet hurtling through the infinity of space.

So again I say, I love Spring. In spite of all the turmoil our lives have experienced these past few years, I know better days are coming.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

I haven't written much the past two years.

There's a wealth of emotions tied to that one sentence, and even now I'm still dealing with the fallout of the wreck that has become my life. I've lost so much in two years. Some days when I reflect back on what's happened I can get a handle on everything, but other times I just cry.

A lot of circumstances when added together can become a tidal wave from which there is no escape. Our tidal wave started in 2009. They say God doesn't give more than we can handle, but obviously he has a higher opinion of my abilities than I do. Six close deaths in eight years were just the tip of the iceberg, and things only got harder when my darling hubby broke his back, for the third time.

So now the business is closed, the assets sold, and our unemployment is running out. I make $10 per hour and we are attempting to get the hubby on disability. My daughter is working two jobs to help with the expenses, and every penny is debated twice before spent. In the darkness that has been our reality, I've learned a few lessons I probably already knew but didn't adhere to.

1) Without money, you have time to work on the problems you've ignored. Every little resentment we've developed in the thirty years of our marriage has to be dealt with. No longer do we have the luxury of moving in separate areas in order to keep from facing each other.

2) When I'm stressed about finances and bills, the first thing that disappears are the voices in my head. I have three stories in various stages of development, and none of them are close enough to submission to be worth talking about. They have great story lines, but right now, every single character decided to head out on vacation.

3) People may ask how you are doing, but they really don't want to know. Everyone has issues and problems, they don't want to constantly be surrounded by yours.

4) Joy can be found in the most unexpected places. Take time to appreciate the small things you see around you. It's amazing how much you can get when you slow down and enjoy the ride. This life is all we have, don't spend so much time chasing money that you lose sight of what is truly important, and that is the relationships you have with the people around you.

I'm trying to live with these lessons and others, but I confess it's been hard. Hard putting myself aside and letting God take control. Hard realizing I am not in control of my fate anymore. Hard giving up things that I'd taken for granted, like movies and new clothes.

Each person's life is a journey, and though we we think the train has become derailed, that's all part of our journey as well.  The Apostle Paul once said, :"I must decrease so that He may increase." I'm still decreasing, and I need to let Him increase instead of stomping my foot and demanding things of which I have not proven myself ready or worthy.

So I'll embrace the lemons, and learn to make not just lemonade, but lemon pie, lemon curd, lemon jelly, everything that can be made from those lemons, because no matter what my situation, I need to be grateful for them. Those lemons came about because God sent them, and I want to master the lemon, so I can move onto the next challenge.

And somewhere along the line, the lemons will become sweeter, and the journey will continue, winding down a path made for me leading to where I do not know. But I do know I will be stronger once it is complete.

Dear Scammers, Letter from a Job Seeker

I've been looking for a new 'real' job.

Sounds perfectly normal, right? Well, to be honest, it's been twenty-two years since I was unemployed and the market and methods have changed dramatically. No longer do you race out on Sunday to get the want ads to be the first to send out a resume, or make a phone call on Monday only to hear the position was filled two weeks ago and they forgot to pull the ad.

Now, everything is electronic, This makes things super easy for employers, but for those of us on the other side of the equation, it has become another area where you have to watch out for people trying to separate you from your hard earned money.

Here is an example that was sent to my email after spending an afternoon painstaking looking over a dozen web sites, trying hard to sort out the wheat from the chaff:

"Dear job seeker 

Our recruitment team viewed your resume published Application :Administrative Assistant- Full Time/ Part Time) and we are pleased with your 

qualifications,we believe you have the required qualifications to 

undergo an online interview.

Your resume was shortlisted for an online interview with the interview

manager Mrs Carol Rawson via G-mail Hangout or Google talk with the

following email address (carolrawson2016@gmail.com). Add Her to your

buddy list and message Her, She will be online waiting for you ASAP to

conduct the interview with you.

Your verification code is ( XXXXXX ), this would serve as your

identification number throughout the online hiring process. Your

timely response matters a lot.

We look forward to having you on the team.

Interview Scheduled : Online.

Time: 9am-5pm

Date: January 16th-23rd 

Venue: On Line Via Google Hangout

Training is Available

Human Resources

Your swift and timely response matters a lot in this beneficial 

position.

Best Regard :

Yours Truly,

Hiring Manager

Regards"

There are so many things grammatically wrong with this email it would be hard to believe a reputable business HR department put this together. Second, Google Hangout? Really?

I followed one of these rabbit trails months ago when I was a fresh faced newly unemployed idealist. It led to a chat room where the contents of the front page of a real company website were splashed before me, which then led to a hiring offer. They would send a check to cover any expenses I might incur to get the 'new' district office up and running.

Sure enough, two days later a delivery man dropped a parcel on my doorstep containing a cashier's check for $2700.00. I was to deposit it in my account, then send a new money order to so and so for the purchase of the equipment. Yeah, right. I bet there's a Nigerian prince in this mess somewhere.

Look, all I want is a job. If I had money to be scammed I wouldn't be on the hunt for gainful employment. In preying on those who can least afford to be catfished, you are taking grift to a new level of lowliness. In the immortal words of Septa Unella from 'Game of Thrones', SHAME, SHAME, SHAME.

Or maybe I am looking at this the wrong way. Instead of answering advertisements, I should place one: "Wanted: Admin/Office Manager/Receptionist/Lemming/Human Resources/Gerbil. Must have valid checking account for payments. Work from home trying to find new office space. Only the gullible need apply. Make your own hours all for $40/hour."

Click to Apply

Hello New Me

It snowed this weekend, always an exciting time here in the Deep South. Stores ran out of milk and bread, our DOT finally got to use all that road salt they had stored up. I made chili and watched my dogs stare at the ground with undisguised revulsion at the idea I wanted them to soil their delicate little feet. But snow always makes me reflective and since it's the first of the new year, I've decided to air a few of my annoyances and fears for the upcoming year.

I'm not crazy about the incoming government, but I'm wise enough to be willing to give them the chance to make a difference. Who knows, it might actually be a great thing, if people are willing to look past their own pockets and put the common good first. Isn't that what the Democrats are always screaming?

For the first time in a very long time, I'm unemployed. It's scary and the jobs market is a very different place from the one I knew more than 20 years ago. The industry I used to be in, computer hardware, is light years away from what I knew. While I'm great at a lot of things, I'm discovering I'm not special enough to stand out when there are literally thousands of applicants for every position.

It's made me very reflective of who I am. I am more than a one page list of accomplishments and skills. I've spend a long time these past few years digging into my past, the fears and accomplishments as well as my place among others, and I've come to peace with who I am and where I want to be. Becoming unemployed ten years before I can catch Social Security wasn't anywhere on the radar, that's for sure.

But I will endure. I've overcome loss before, and with God's help, I will again. Life is a journey, and this is part of my path. Doesn't mean I won't be frustrated; in fact, that seems to be my favorite emotion here recently. However, I will face my fears and my anxiety, and learn to grow with every experience.

Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth...

And...PIVOT!

Many times in my life I have found circumstances taking drastic, sometimes emotionally devastating turns. The first time I remember this happening in detail was December 1981 - January 1982. Within the space of these two months, my college roommate committed suicide, I was in a horrific crash involving a tractor trailer, and the man I had been dating since high school broke up with me by sending an invitation to his wedding.

For two weeks after I lay on the bed wondering what had I been doing so wrong that God felt the need to crash my world down around my ears. In haste and fear I threw myself into a relationship with more downs than ups. Then I spent two years rectifying the mistakes made in my overwrought mental condition.

Since then these upheaval collisions have only happened twice more: when I left my job in technology to go work for my husband's family business back in 1995, and in early 2015. Unfortunately that particular episode is still ongoing, and while I think I see the exit tunnel, things are still whirling around me like a sand storm.

When I am unsure where to go, or what decision to make, there is only one direction I turn: my faith. It has sustained me when everything and everyone else deserted me, and I give my Higher Power, who is God, all the credit for keeping me sane and focused when much of my life is burning down around me.

We are heading into the holiday season. Regardless of which faith you adhere to, this is the time to focus on others instead of our own selfish desires. If, for 31 days, we can all put our political, religious, or monetary problems on the shelf and bring out the damn Elf. Remember those who need us most: animals still suffering in animal shelters around the country. Take time and adopt, don't spend thousands on a pedigree animal. There are special pedigree animals waiting at your local shelter, I guarantee.

So what is my point? I guess the point is, we have to be flexible when it comes to life, learn to roll with the winds and to replant when the storm is gone. That's where I am right now, replanting. Taking the good and discarding the bad; consider it early Spring Cleaning. Is this where I wanted to be so late in life? Hell no! But it is the life I have, and I want to enjoy every minute remaining to the fullest extent every day.

This December, do a little cleaning of your own. Take all those negative posting people off your Facebook. Life is too short to always be miserable. Learn to tweet, and give inspiration to yourself and others each day. Lord knows we all need inspiration. Volunteer at the local animal shelter, or nearby hospital to hold premature babies as they grow and adapt to this big, scary world.

I guess the point of all this is to say, don't stay in your season of defeat. Stand up, dust off your pants and keep walking. Who knows what is waiting just up ahead?



Don't forget to check out my newest release: "Welcome to the Family", available on Amazon.com, BN.com, and The Wild Rose Press website.
https://www.amazon.com

"Welcome to the Family"

Now Available from The Wild Rose Press - Meet the Devlyns. Not your everyday relations.

EXCERPT:

Silence then reigned in the limo as Sean stared at the scenery flying past, remembering the first time he’d made this particular drive. When Cassie at last relented and took him to meet her father and brothers, they’d been together almost a year. The trip ended up being a nightmare. The only plus side was the stronger bond he and Cassie built when everything was said and done. It was the trip which created the foundation point of their agreements.

The Devlyn men were whacked, especially when it came to Cassie.

Kevin was eldest, the only brother with whom Cassie maintained a cordial relationship. He was also the most straight laced of the three brothers. After leaving the service, Kevin got his law degree and worked for the family business as chief counsel. Just like Cassie, his relationship with their father was complicated; typical oldest son. Kevin had cleaned up more than one mess left behind by Martin or Greg and was badly scarred himself from the process.

Middle son Matthew was a high functioning Autistic and frequently became a pawn, easily swayed by youngest brother Greg. It was Greg whose neck Sean wanted to wring, along with Martin himself. It was they who ruined relationships between the siblings.

Greg was an evil, vile, sorry excuse for a human, and those were Martin’s words not Sean’s. Ever since childhood, Greg’s vendetta against his only sister brought havoc into their lives more than once. Doctors said he was a borderline psychotic, but Sean knew he’d crossed the border long ago. Martin eventually dismissed him to West Coast operations to keep distance between Cassie and her chief tormentor, but family and business still brought him to Atlanta more than Sean would like.

One part of that first meeting fiasco kept replaying in his ears, the speech her father gave about why Ferguson wasn’t good enough for his only daughter. He still could hear the derision in the man’s voice as he’d sneered, “The only son of a mid-level bureaucrat thinks because he talks a privileged, naïve, innocent girl into falling onto her back for him, we intend to accept this nobody into our family? I would sooner wallow in the mud with animals than know my grandchildren will be fathered by a damn Irishman!”

That was the only meeting he’d had with all the male members of Cassie’s family at one time. They left shortly thereafter and hadn’t returned since, or at least Sean hadn’t. Cassie occasionally stopped by to see her father, but at their Atlantic Station headquarters never the house. Though eventually Kevin did make amends, the other two brothers, Greg and Matthew, still didn’t speak to them. It bothered him that they were taking out their disapproval of him on Cassie. She didn’t deserve it. But what aggravated him the most was the damn hold they had on her that kept one finger always in her business; she didn’t know how to say no to the group of them.

The limo slowed as they took the Vinings exit off the freeway. Winding past the quaint Village center, they turned right, over the Chattahoochee River and into the exclusive, hidden neighborhoods on the northwest outskirts of Atlanta. At last they pulled up to a large stone entrance with an exquisite wrought iron gate overlooking the Chattahoochee River. The driver keyed a number into the key pad and the gates swung open.

“Welcome home,” Joe quipped.

“Shut the hell up,” Sean muttered. Joe smiled in return.

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM

AVAILABLE ON THE WILD ROSE PRESS

AVAILABLE ON BN.COM

Better Than An Election - A New Release

Haunted Halloween Hop - Part Five: Love Across Time

Sean swept Cassie into his arms and out the door into the formal gardens where the band held court. Lanterns hung from every tree and the smell of fall in the air mixed with the tang of salt water from the nearby marsh. She stared at him with hunger, drinking in every detail of his face.

"What... how are you here? You're supposed to be in..." Cassie whispered into his neck as they twirled slowly around the dance floor.

"Another place? Well let's just say my commanding officer pulled a few strings to put me on a resupply flight to Warner Robbins. A short hop by helicopter and here I am, all yours for the next few hours."

"But what about my ghostly admirer?"

Pulling her tight against his chest, Sean murmured against her ear. "I've heard the story of the Major and his widow before, though Linda might not appreciate knowing that her childhood home is haunted. We Irish have a different idea about shades than you Americans."

She whispered again, this time letting her lips run lightly against his warm skin. "You're also a hopeless romantic my love."

He shuddered in her arms at the touch of her breath in his ear. "Guilty as charged."

As they continued their slow waltz around the yard, the rest of Savannah faded into the distance, and for that moment in time, it was just the two of them, eyes locked upon each other, knowing that too soon the dawn would separate them for who knew how long. Each imprinted the other's features for future memories, inhaling deeply of the scents of the night.

Her signature scent of lavender and roses; his Bay Lime aftershave mixed with a healthy dose of pure male; the tang of the river, the breeze across the marsh bringing the salt of the nearby sound. The fall signatures of smoke and cinnamon and harvest. Each mingled in their senses to paint memories filled with emotion.

By small measures both became aware of two other forces following them. Sean looked deep into Cassie's eyes, and both smiled gently in mutual agreement. They paused briefly in their pattern and allowed themselves to be transported, through Johan and Constance, to another time, another All Hallows Eve, at the Spivey home.

Music spanned the bridge of time, a waltz now a waltz then, bringing together those separated by more than distance. Dancing to a tune know only to their hearts, the night became a blur of color and sound. When they found themselves back in the house, the early rays of dawn were beginning to creep over the marsh.

When Cassie awoke the next day, body sore and heart content, she rolled over to find only a warm spot with the lingering scent of Bay Lime. If not for the excess of men's costume clothes spread around the room, she might have dreamed the entire evening. But a note on top of the pillow bore her name.

"Cassie - You looked so lovely asleep I couldn't bear to wake you. The time is running away from us, but I wouldn't have missed last night for the anything. I love you, my beauty. Write often, pray more, and if all goes will I'll be home before spring."

It was signed "Sean".

She sat up and looked around before realizing she was in her hotel room back on River Street. Her dress from the previous evening was missing, though Sean's rented costume was in several locations around the room. Wracking her brain as hard as possible, she couldn't remember leaving the Masquerade at the Spivey's home. When pressed, none of the girls could remember seeing Cassie or Sean after they went outside. They had taken a cab back to the hotel when it got late, assuming they had missed connecting.

Cassie spent the day on her own, avoiding the rest of the festivities around the city. As she gathered her book to head to a quiet corner, an envelope fell out. The archaic writing matched her previous notes from Johan.

"Thank you dearest Cassandra and thank your noble warrior for us as well. Constance and I have been reunited, and my long penance on earth alone has ended. Farewell my friend, and may God bless and watch over you.      Johan."

I hope everyone has enjoyed my little short story. For more of Sean and Cassie's story, be sure to grab a copy of "Welcome to the Family" on November 9th.

A Break In the Action

Sorry to interrupt the Hop, but sometimes real life intrudes on our writing!


The Conclusion to Cassie's Ghosts will be posted tonight. In the meantime, don't forget that Sean and Cassie's story will continue in "Welcome to the Family", a contemporary mystery which will be released by the Wild Rose Press on November 9th. Be sure to check it out!

Haunted Halloween Hop - Part Three: Masquerade

The house was one of Savannah's finest examples of Southern living. Candles lit every square inch of the mantles and tables, reflecting deeply polished mahogany and Georgia marble to every corner. Laughter filled the hallways, as ladies in silk and taffeta gowns swished against handsome gentlemen wearing 18th Century worsted wool and military colors. Cinnamon and cloves scented the air, and a chamber ensemble played in the back yard.

Cassie and her friends had attended the Masquerade ever since college. The theme never changed, Oglethorpe's Savannah, but the cast of characters was constantly being updated to include the latest movers and shakers along the coast. The highlighted entertainment this year was a psychic who was guaranteed to help you make a connection with the other side.

This year Cassie felt watched, not in the usual sleazy drunk frat boy way that most of these events ended up, but as though someone watched over her shoulder, a chill breath on the back of her neck. More than once the scent of Bay Lime drifted through the air. With Mike and Wendy as her bodyguards, she steeled herself against the nerves inside and started looking for her mystery date.

Moving through the rooms and crowd, catching snippets of conversation here and there, none of which could be added together as clues to her admirer. While there were several handsome young men dressed in the Colonial blue uniform of the time period, British red dominated the night.

In an attempt to get a breath of fresh air, Cassie burst through a doorway into what she thought was the front porch but turned out to be the solarium. Only a few people occupied the space, but all seemed to drift away quickly once the three girls appeared.

Mike threw herself down on the chaise. "Well I've seen no one in Wedgwood Blue, whatever the hell that is. Can we go now? My feet are killing me. These moccasins have no support."

Wendy threw her arms around Cassie and hissed at her partner, "Stop it Michelle. I refuse to leave my dearest friend alone with an announced perv stalking her. Now stop being such a downer and go grab us drinks. We'll wait right here."

Complaining with every step, Mike left to find an available bar as Cassie drifted to one corner of the solarium to study a uniform on a mannequin. A card on the table announced it belong to a Prussian prince who had come to fight for the Colonists, only to die on Halloween on Bay Street as he searched for his wife, who was sick and housebound. His murder was never solved, and his widow, who survived the malaria which had consumed the area with a late burst of summer, had him buried in the cemetery, where she joined him some sixty years later.

"Isn't it tragic, that he would die so close to home? His poor wife, how she must have wept." Cassie's face was somber as she looked at the well-preserved artifacts. "Worse is that no one was ever caught."

Wendy shrugged. "I imagine that happened a lot more times than not back in those days. Without forensics and evidence such as we can collect today, you practically had to catch the person in the act to get an honest conviction. Listen, I've to pee like a racehorse. Tell Mike I'll be right back, OK?"

"Sure thing." Cassie watched Wendy leave then returned her attention to the uniform. There was a small portrait of the prince hanging beside the exhibit. "What an interesting picture. Hard to see what he truly looked like."

A small gust of wind blew through the closed room, raising goosebumps on her arms, and a prickling sensation started on her neck, as if someone were breathing onto her skin. Part of her wanted to run away, while the rest wanted to turn around and see if there really was anything to be afraid of.

Just when she'd worked up the courage to turn, a cultured French accent spoke directly into her ear.

"I'm much more handsome than my portrait. You however, look lovely in the gown I picked out Cassandra. Very much like your mother."

Cassie spun around quickly, only to gasp at the sight awaiting her.

A ghost. A real live ghost was standing in the solarium staring at her like he knew her.

What Do I Do With The Lemonade?

I don't normally mix my personal and professional lives with my writing. First, it isn't fair to you innocent people to listen to me whine. Second, whining doesn't do any good period. However, I have to vent some of this out, before I explode.

Recent things have brought about many changes in my life, some happy some frightening. Mostly I have been on a voyage of personal discovery, looking at what I dislike about myself, strengthening my relationship with me, stuff like that. Although I find this a needed project, it's been hard both internally and externally.

There are stages to change, just as there are with death. Perhaps because change is a form of death, a good-bye to the habits we need to dismiss. I've been angry, sad, I've laughed, I've cried and mostly I've tried to bargain with the universe. Let me tell you, it really is true that if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans.

Earlier this year, I decided to adopt Proverbs 3:5 as my life verse: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding." It perfectly summed up where I was at and what I needed most to work on - getting out of God's way and letting him work on and through me.

Once I began to get out of the way, great things began to happen, and for months live moved as it should. Then in July we had another life changing event. Unfortunately that positive event has spawned other negative behaviors. (See Verse Above.) Am I mad? A little. Am I disappointed? Immensely. But sometimes the lesson to be learned isn't mine. Sometimes the lesson is someone elses' and I'm only caught up in the backwash. Doesn't make it right, doesn't make it hurt less, but it does allow me to take a deep breath, smile, and get out of God's way to let Him do His thing.

When we are younger, the need to protect or best our enemies is strong. We are raising families, building family units, establishing ourselves in the corporate dance. As we grow older, we realize we worried about the wrong things. Our kids grew up fine, even if they did drink water from the garden hose, or use sunscreen with low SPF. The world didn't stop turning, and no one was left with some horrible disease from sucking on honeysuckle blooms.

These days it is getting harder and harder to maintain inner peace. The world seems especially bent toward the destruction of all that many of us grew up to respect: our military, our way of live, our political process. I could go on for hours, but everyone knows what I mean. I am proud of our political system. I am not proud of the circus we are being fed. It feels man-made, thrown us to detract us from the real questions. And I got too old for the circus a long time ago. 

There are many changes due for me this upcoming week, and if you think about it, throw some positive karma out into the universe on my behalf. Trust me, it will come back around to you increased.

One side not - I will be participating in a Halloween Blog Hop 10/24 through 10/31. More details to come.

Another note - Welcome to the Family has a release date of November 9, 2016. Be prepared to meet the Family!

IT"S OCTOBER!!

Authors Boosting Authors

Haunting Halloween Hop

October 24-31

Come join us for a spook-tacular book hop!

GAMES!!    PRIZES!!   BOOK GIVEAWAYS!!!

More details as we get closer to the event

To Everything There is a Season

My life right now is going in about 360 different directions. Everything is in an upheaval and all I really want to do is run away and change my identity. Of course that isn't possible, so I guess I'll try to power through, with help from the heavens and my family and friends.

In seventh grade, long long ago when teacher still made you learn cursive writing and recess was an hour of kick ball and jumping rope, we were made to learn a poem; Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". Even now it stirs of feelings of where did I make the wrong turn, whose council did I miss?

As we fly rapidly through these last days of summer, think not of things ending, but of things returning. For everything is a circle, there is a time to every purpose.  Enjoy my friends.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Have a safe weekend everyone. See you in the fall!